Apologies for not posting over the weekend, nerds. I haven’t been feeling too energetic as I’ve had the flu. I know, not very interesting, but it’s true. It started off with Mr Nerd having man flu for a couple of days. While he lay on the Chesterfield, I dutifully skipped to the chemist like a good fiancé to pick up his cold and flu tablets, rolling my eyes. Then I got sick too, but my sickness was like 16 times worse than his and it’s lasted about eight times longer. It sucks! The only one happy about me being stuck at home is Nala. When I am sick and trying to work, it seems like she becomes even more annoying than usual.
ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE PLANNING
I did feel a bit better on Saturday night for a bit though and went out to see a movie. Who’s seen World War Z? It was so cringingly bad and over-the-top that it was enjoyable. It was also stressful because it made me realise I might need to rethink my original zombie apocalypse survival plan. Because those World War Z zombies were intense.
Somehow they got the ability to sprint and and they could also use their skulls to smash open car windows. These were no stupid, slow Walking Dead zombies who lurch after you when you rattle a stick along a chain link fence. Those World War Z zombies were lean, speedy fighting machines. My sister summed up my thoughts on it quite well: “Watching World War Z has made me realise I would be one of the first to turn into a zombie, simply because it'd be easier.”
When Mr Nerd and I watch The Walking Dead and the characters are in a prickly situation and I tell him what I would have done, he laughs and says that I would never need to worry about those sorts of things, because if there was a zombie apocalypse I would be one of the first eaten. He thinks he would be so amazing in a post-apocalyptic world because he’s good at Call of Duty.
Nevertheless my friend Carly and I have discussed our zombie attack survival plans. I would go to Garden City shopping mall. The walls are really high so you can barricade yourselves in, there’s food and bottled water, entertainment (Dymocks and the board game store), comfortable beds and King of Knives. Carly said she would go to the casino. She said there would be plenty of alcohol and they have a swimming pool. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but my zombie attack strategy is much better than hers. But I am a good friend and when she is tired of drinking and swimming at the cas she would still be most welcome to join me and my clan playing board games at Garden City.
I CHATTED TO THE WINNERS OF HOUSE RULES
I talked to the lovely Leighton and Carly and will feature their bedroom makeover advice on the blog soon. They were super-nice, with energy in droves. Big congratulations Carly and Leighton! As the winners of House Rules, they’re now mortgage-free – a pretty awesome prize.
A few people have since suggested that Mr Nerd and I apply to go on the next House Rules, but the truth is we would argue so much we would never agree on anything. Forget those time challenges or whatever they do on House Rules, it would take us years to agree on a paint colour. The lone, bare ceiling bulb that has been hanging on our bedroom ceiling for the past three years is a symbol of this. Mr Nerd wants something simple and plain and modern, I want something pretty and chandelier-like with sparkles on it. So bare bulb it is. Thank God Nelly is stepping in, an interior designer and mediator all in one.
Carly and Leighton aren’t the only winners at the moment. Not to brag or anything, nerds, but recently I also battled fierce competition and overcame intense mental pressure, in my case to emerge the triumphant winner of the “Name the Quokka” competition held by Rottnest General Store.
Thanks to all my friends who voted for ‘Geoffrey’. Because of you, and my talent for naming fluffy marsupials, I won four return ferry tickets to Rottnest Island and a $50 voucher for Rottnest General Store so I can eat Miss Maude’s pies to my heart’s content. Procrastinating on Facebook when you’re on deadline can pay dividends, my nerds.
If you don’t know what a quokka is, they’re small, cuddly-looking marsupials that kind of look like little chubby kangaroos. They are only found in WA, mostly on Rottnest Island and they’re very friendly, they sort of look like they are smiling and they will hop right up to you. And they definitely look like Geoffreys. Also if you have never heard of Rottnest Island, it’s a crazy beautiful island 16km off the coast of Perth and if you ever visit Perth you should visit Rottnest and go cycling and swimming around the reefs. It’s lovely.
By the way, fun fact, did you know that when Isla Fisher was 16 and on Leavers she once ran around Rottnest General Store naked?
CALLING PERTH CREATIVES
Yesterday I guest featured on awesome new blog the creatives! As you can see my forehead vein decided to make a special guest appearance in a couple of pictures that day as well. “Hellooo.” Yuk! Maybe I should get a fringe again.
Just launched last month, this fantastic initiative was dreamed up by uber-talented (and very lovely) stylists and photographers, Stacey Clarke of Pilgrim Styling and Meghan Plowman of The Orchard, as a way for all kinds of creative people in Perth to discover each other, connect and network. So whether you are a blogger, a writer, designer, stylist, crafter, model, barista, musician or small business owner, or you just like to follow along with what’s up-and-coming in Perth, this is a great blog for you. I think it's just what we need in Perth and I am looking forward to joining in on the ride. Follow along on their Facebook page.
WE NOW HAVE THE SMALLEST BATHROOM WINDOW IN THE WORLD
Our ensuite renovation is slowly ticking along – we now have floor tiles and a window! Woo-hoo! Mr Nerd knocked out the old window and made the space for the new window smaller, so we could fit a mirror above the vanity, and the window installer guy came the other day with our new window.
I looked at the window and started laughing. It was the smallest window in the world. And yet it had a giant lock with an actual KEY on it. Whatever for? The lock was almost bigger than the window. Plus the window, as you can see, is so high up.
The window guy was a bit grumpy and clearly didn’t want to make chit-chat with me. He didn’t even pat Nala! And she was gently cooing at him and wagging her tail looking sweet. I don’t trust people who won’t even pat Nala. The window guy put in the tiny window and I still couldn’t stop myself from smiling. It was just so little. It looked so funny.
The window guy started demonstrating how to use the tiny window. I imagine he had to do this for all the windows he put in. “You open and close it like this,” he said tiredly. “And this is the lock, and this is the key, and you turn it to lock it, like so.”
“Is this just in case an anorexic dwarf burglar tries to break in?” I wanted to know. He didn’t even laugh.
Mind you, if I wasn't taken, I can certainly think of one midget example where I’d be leaving a stepladder against the wall:
Our ensuite renovation is coming along so nicely – I’m so excited! It has gone from being the worst room in the house (see below) to looking like it is going to be the best.
The work is getting done on the weekends, and luckily we have another bathroom to use in the meantime, which is my one. Mr Nerd has always used the ensuite while I used the (then) nicer family bathroom, which is bigger, and has more benchtop space. But I can’t wait to have that first shower in our beautiful new travertine-tiled ensuite.
Mr Nerd says it is his space and when the renovation is finished he is putting a lock on the door so I can’t touch his bathroom, but we’ll see about that. Good luck riding his motorbike when I have “forgotten” where I have hidden his keys.
How have you been nerds? Are you up to speed on Game of Thrones? And do you have a zombie apocalypse survival plan? Maya x